Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
