my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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