that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Randomize
