The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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