Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
