Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
