ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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