I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
