We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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