I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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