I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize