I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Your penis caused this!
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