My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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