To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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