Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
