just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
