TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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