wakey wakey hands off snakey
one might say we're banned from that church
Four minutes until I can fart!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
