your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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