i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize