Umm I'm too high to move.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
