There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
