guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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