between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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