Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
