if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
