dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
