Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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