Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
