i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
