That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
