so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
