I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
