Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
