the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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