the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
