I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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