He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
