Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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