I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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