Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
