I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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