Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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