I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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