DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
