How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
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We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
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Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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