she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
