Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We left the knife in your bed.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Randomize
