I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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