I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
