Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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