how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
