Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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