dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
