Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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