She is in my trunk
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
