One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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