Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The struggles of a small town man whore
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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