She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
