i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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