The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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