She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
