Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
