So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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