Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
