weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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