my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
